"I'm overwhelmed, lost, and don't even know who I am anymore." The words of a client who reminded me I had said this exact statement to myself not to long ago.
Back in 2015, you think I would be celebrating and feeling joy for successfully expanding my business, reaching my goals, and doing everything society told me to do. I was at the height of my career.
I had done everything “right”, but why was everything feeling so wrong?
I was overwhelmed, feeling alone, and didn’t recognize the person in the mirror anymore.
My current self was a bad ass and one tough cookie though, that is for sure. I got much praise and attention for the roles I was playing and the facade that came with being who I had to be to achieve that success, however, there was another part of me that was forgotten who was starting to make her presence very known.
There was a part of me that went against everything that was currently happening in my life and would severely threaten the trajectory I was on if I let her take the wheel.
This struck much fear and chaos within as I started to realize something was incredibly out of whack and that I may have left behind a very important part of ME all these years!
Why am I not happy?
Why can’t I enjoy my life I worked so hard for?
Why do I feel like such a fake sometimes?
How do I keep living a life I feel has somehow enslaved me and has me trapped instead of allowing me to experience freedom of my time?
What happened and how did I get here?!
This is where my journey took a turn. I stepped off the path I was traveling to sit and reflect. I started listening to what was going on inside me and make space for myself to dive into the depths of what was the many layers of me.
As I started to step away for moments at a time, I noticed others doing the same that I never had seen before! All asking questions. All reflecting and taking the time to slow down in order to observe themselves without the go-go-go.
The people I previously stuck my nose up at and said “I will never be like them” ended up being a community I most looked forward to spending my time with. The enjoyment I had as a child being outside with Mother Earth and the nature started to come back. She nourished, fed, protected, and healed me in ways the society I grew up in didn’t.
Five years later after making the choice to step back from my life to connect to MYSELF and listen, things look completely different. My days also FEEL so different!
Where there was confusion and stress, I now am in clarity and peace.
Where there were addictions and self harm, I now find balance and self love.
Where there was emptiness and darkness, I now find wholeness and light.
The world around me hasn’t changed much in the way it wants me to be or who it encourages me to be. Success and happiness are still advertised in similar ways as it had always been.
My life is so different not because of what changed outside of me, but more importantly what changed within.
By taking a deep dive into my soul and learning how to connect back to myself I was able to remember the wild spirit I had within.
The inner spirit whose gifts and talents I never thought to put much use to because they weren’t shown to be valuable or welcomed by others in the past.
The voice I had to share because my expression of truth mattered more now than ever.
The wild spirit with a courageous heart to love in a world that is scared to be vulnerable and seen for what it is.
This Wild Woman I found and reconnected to is in all of us! She is guiding us everyday and there to give us her ancient wisdom if we know how to listen. She is able to help heal and soothe the wounds that we carry and move us to the next part of our journey so that we may expand more into who we are.
I send love to the overwhelmed and lost self five years ago. She needed to be wakened up to get more into alignment of herself. It was time for her to go on a new path and journey that she never imagined was possible and in return find who she remembers being so very long ago.
I call out to your Wild Woman inside to show herself to you and remind you of ALL of who and what you are!
We need your unique gifts and voice more than ever in this world as you are held and supported on your path even when you don’t think you are.
This is why I do what I do and create the spaces I invite you to join where you can take some time to step back and listen. You can be witnessed and seen in a different light from what your everyday roles demand of you.
The process of connecting back to the lost parts of your self and shedding layers from the past can look different person to person, however, it is a process that can be made more comfortable and done with grace.
Don't forget there is beautiful community and guidance on this path we are all on. If you feel called to work with me or curious about seeing if my process would be a good fit to getting you to the next step on your path, please reach out!
Blessings and love, Amber